Tom Lefroy is still a subject of debate amongst Janeites. He is often described as Jane's great love, or I've even seen him described as her own Mr Darcy as they met when she was writing Pride and Prejudice, but there are many who would disagree. Their relationship formed the basis of the film Becoming Jane (2007) starring Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy, which embellished their story. As Jane wrote such beautiful romantic novels, people often strive to find romance in her own life.

 

So who was Tom Lefroy? Thomas Langlois Lefroy was actually an Irishman, born in Limerick on 8th January 1776, a few short weeks after Jane was born. He was the sixth child and eldest son so he was therefore expected to rise to greatness. He was an intelligent man who studied at Trinity College, Dublin  and went on to study law at Lincoln's Inn, London, which his great uncle Benjamin Langlois sponsered. 

 

Later in life he moved to a career in politics and went on to have a successful career. He was elected to the House of Commons for the Dublin University seat as a Tory in 1830 and then became a member of the Privy Council of Ireland on 29th January 1835. He continued to represent Dublin University until he was appointed an Irish judge in 1841, which gave him the official title Baron of the Exchequer.  He was promoted again to Chief Justice of the Court of Queen's Bench in Ireland in 1852, a role which he remained in until he was 90 years old!  

 

Tom met Jane for the first time in December 1795. Jane was friends with his aunt Anne Brydges Lefroy, despite a 30 year age gap, who lived in Ashe. Tom was taking a break from his studies at Lincoln's Inn in London and went to visit his aunt in December 1795 for several weeks. Anne Brydges Lefroy is often described as a Lady Russell character, who liked to persuade her children and friends.

 

There are only two letters surviving by Jane during this short period so there is little evidence of Jane and Tom's interactions. Jane was only 20 years old when the pair met and it being the Christmas season, there were many balls and events in the area giving them plenty of opportunities to meet often.

 

Their acquaintance was only of short duration (around 4 weeks) but it is evident that they were close. They shared a lot of common interests and Tom lent Jane a novel called Tom Jones (not to be confused with the singer), which was considered particularly racy at the time. Others around them believed them to be partial to each other as they stood up together often at balls and it is said that Tom asked a friend to sketch Jane so he had a picture of her. It reminds me very much of Marianne and Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility.

 

Her sister Cassandra was away from home visiting her fiancé so she never met Tom Lefroy. Jane wrote to her sister describing her and Tom's behaviour on 9th January 1796:

 

"You scold me so much in the nice long letter which I have this moment received from you, that I am almost afraid to tell you how my Irish friend and I behaved. Imagine to yourself everything most profligate and shocking in the way of dancing and sitting down together. I can expose myself however, only once more, because he leaves the country soon after next Friday, on which day we are to have a dance at Ashe after all. He is a very gentlemanlike, good-looking, pleasant young man, I assure you. But as to our having ever met, except at the three last balls, I cannot say much; for he is so excessively laughed at about me at Ashe, that he is ashamed of coming to Steventon, and ran away when we called on Mrs. Lefroy a few days ago.
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After I had written the above, we received a visit from Mr. Tom Lefroy and his cousin George. The latter is really very well-behaved now; and as for the other, he has but one fault, which time will, I trust, entirely remove — it is that his morning coat is a great deal too light. He is a very great admirer of Tom Jones, and therefore wears the same coloured clothes, I imagine, which he did when he was wounded."

 

It is sometimes presumed that Jane expected an offer of marriage from Tom as she wrote in a letter to her sister:

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"I look forward with great impatience to it, as I rather expect to receive an offer from my friend in the course of the evening. I shall refuse him, however, unless he promises to give away his white coat."

 

This however, more than likely refers to her being asked to dance at the ball.

 

Tom returned to his studies in London in January 1796. Though many believe that his aunt sent him away because she thought it an imprudent match. Certainly as the eldest son he was expected to marry well but Anna Austen Lefroy (Jane's niece) refuted this theory in a letter many years after in 1869:

 

"I am the only person who has any faith in the tradition…but when I came to hear again & again, from those who were old enough to remember, how the Mother had disliked Tom Lefroy because he had behaved so ill to Jane Austen, with sometimes the additional weight of the Father’s condemnation, what could I think then? Or what now except to give a verdict . . . [of] ‘under mitigating circumstances’—As—First, the youth of the Parties—secondly, that Mrs. Lefroy, charming woman as she was, warm in her feelings, was also partial in her judgments—Thirdly—that for other causes, too long to enter upon, she not improbably set out with a prejudice against the Gentleman, & would have distrusted had there been no Jane Austen in the case. The one thing certain is, that to the last year of his life she was remembered as the object of his youthful admiration—"

 

Jane was upset at the departure of her flirtation and wrote to her sister on 16th January 1796:

 

"At length the day is come on which I am to flirt my last with Tom Lefroy, and when you receive this it will be over. My tears flow as I write at the melancholy idea."

 

Though their acquaintance was brief it is clear that she still thought of Tom after his departure from Ashe. She wrote in a letter to her sister in November 1798:

 

“Mrs. Lefroy did come last Wednesday…with whom, in spite of interruptions both from my father and James, I was enough alone to hear all that was interesting, which you will easily credit when I tell you that of her nephew she said nothing at all, and of her friend very little. She did not once mention the name of the former to me, and I was too proud to make any inquiries; but on my father’s afterwards asking where he was, I learnt that he was gone back to London in his way to Ireland, where he is called to the Bar and means to practise.”

 

Later in life, Tom was questioned by his nephew Thomas Edward Preston Lefroy what his relationship was with Jane. His nephew recounts his response in a letter to James Edward Austen Leigh in 1870:

 

"My late venerable uncle ... said in so many words that he was in love with her, although he qualified his confession by saying it was a boyish love. As this occurred in a friendly & private conversation, I feel some doubt whether I ought to make it public."

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Tom married Mary Paul on 16th March 1799 in North Wales, and the couple went on to have 7 children. Mary was a friend of a college friend, and they became engaged in the spring of 1797, the year after departing from Ashe. It is thought by some that he had an attachment to Mary prior to meeting Jane, and he put his education first, not rushing into marriage like Edward Ferrars' young engagement to Lucy Steele.

 

Their first daughter was named Jane Christmas Lefroy, which many people belief was done so because of Tom's love for Jane. Far more likely is that she was named after Lady Jane Paul, his wife's mother as otherwise this would be incredibly direspectful to his wife. Also, Jane was one of the most popular names of the period.  

 

When Tom learned of Jane' s death in 1817, he travelled from Ireland to pay his respects. I wonder what his wife thought of this. It's clear they both made quite an impression on each other, but having spent only several short weeks in the same neighbourhood, can it be called anything more than youthful lust?