Proposal of an engagement

‘man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal’ - Mr Tilney Much like today after courtship, came an engagement, then marriage. If a gentleman felt certain his feelings were reciprocated, he would first approach the lady's parents to pay his addresses. A suitable private setting could then be arranged for the proposal. It was not deemed appropriate for young men and women to be alone together so it was necessary for this to be arranged. When the proposal was accepted, parental consent from the lady's father was then obtained and marriage articles drawn up. It was acceptable for a lady to reject a proposal, but she would have to be sensitive to the man's feelings.

Unlike today, women were not typically given an engagement ring. The fashion of giving an engagement ring became much more fashionable in the late 1800s after a large diamond mine was found in South Africa. Breaking off an engagement was strictly forbidden for a man, but a lady could provided she had taken careful consideration (the opposite to the rules of divorce at the time). As we see with Edward Ferrars, despite his love for Eleanor, he is bound by his proposal to Lucy Steele and is only freed when she transfers her affections to his brother. Leading up to the marriage, couples weren't all squeaky clean as we sometimes can be made to believe. There were many babies born less than 7 months after marriage! Indeed looking back at my own family tree, one of my ancestors in the 1800s was born after 2 months of marriage.

#Engagements