Harris Bigg-Wither was the only man ever to propose to Jane (that we know of), but who exactly was this man?
 

Born on 18th May 1781, Harris was five and a half years younger than Jane, and the second of nine children. In 1789, the last of the Withers of the Manydown estate passed away and Lovelace Bigg, Harris' father, inherited the estate. In honour of the Withers family, he changed his and his sons' surnames to Bigg-Wither. His daughters retained the surname Bigg. When Harris was 13, his elder brother died, meaning that Harris became the heir to the Manydown estate.

Steventon was two and a half miles from the Manydown estate and the family were close. Jane would have met Harris when she was around 14 and he about eight. In a letter in 1796, Jane talks about attending a dance at Manydown and flirting with Tom Lefroy, but makes no mention of Harris.

Harris was teased by his many sisters for being a stammerer and was described as shy and awkward. Jane's brother James' wife Mary described him as "very plain in person - awkward, and even uncouth in manner - nothing but his size to recommend him". His father was concerned about his education and hired him a private tutor Mr Wallington. He went on to Worcester College at Oxford, but did not complete a degree and returned to live at Manydown.

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In 1802, Jane and Cassandra were invited to stay at Manydown by the Bigg sister's Alethea and Catherine, who were childhood friends. They had seen each often when they lived in the same neighbourhood but the Austen's now lived in Bath so invitations to visit were necessary.

Harris proposed to Jane on the evening of 2nd December and she accepted. However, the following morning she turned him down as, in Elizabeth Bennet fashion, she felt she could not marry without love. She did however admire and like Harris, being intimate with the family, although the age difference probably came into play, Harris only being 21 at the time of the proposal. Perhaps she accepted his proposal as Harris being the heir to a wealthy estate would be profitable for her family. Jane wrote to her niece Fanny Knight in 1814: "Nothing can be compared to the misery of being bound without Love".

Jane left for Steventon that morning in the Bigg-Wither carriage, perhaps feeling it would be improper to stay any longer. She was accompanied by Cassandra, but also by Catherine and Alethea. Jane and Cassandra did however keep in touch with the Bigg sisters and it would seem that there were no hard feelings. Jane convinced her brother James (who was presently living at Steventon) to take her home to Bath the following day.

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Two years after the refusal to his proposal from Jane, Harris went on to marry Anne Howe Frith and the two had 10 children together, so we shouldn't feel bad for Harris. He lived to the age of 51 and unfortunately the Manydown estate and a neighbouring property were sold in 1871 to pay debts.

Caroline Austen (Jane's niece) wrote: "I believe the wife he did get was very fond of him, and that they were a happy couple". One of her other niece's Catherine Hubback, despite being born in 1818, commented: "I gathered from the letters that it was in a momentary fit of self-delusion that Aunt Jane accepted Mr Wither's proposal, and that when it was all settled eventually ... she was much relieved. I think the affair vexed her a good deal; but I am sure she has no attachment to him.

Her niece Anna's daughter Fanny Lefroy was not as kind about the circumstances, writing: "He would take her from the Bath she disliked and restore her to the country she loved ... overnight she experienced a revulsion of feeling ... her decision was a reckless error; it may have been an unselfish one; in the morning she had to be selfish".

Who knows what would have happened if Jane had gone through with the marriage. Would Harris have supported her in her writing career? How many children would they have had? Would it have been a happy marriage? I wish I had the answers to these questions but unfortunately we will never know and shall have to be more than thankful that her great words are shared across the world.